The Squirrel Hunter

I got a call from a friend who was having some trouble with someone stealing his walnuts. Being a nutcracker I can't stand nut thieves. I expected to hear about some pesky kids stealing bags of walnuts and hoarding them for wild weekend parties. It was even worse. Squirrels were sneaking into his backyard and taking them one nut at a time.

After some serious planning I set up my trap and waited....and waited.....and waited.


I saw movement and watched as a little brown squirrel made it's way across the yard and over to my trap. Luckily his brain was smaller than the nuts it was hunting. Without thinking twice it walked into the cage and the door slammed shut behind it. Like a big game hunter I posed next to my prize.



I hopped in the car with my friend and headed out to the woods. We pulled over at a place that looked like any squirrel would be proud to call home. We opened the door and the one time walnut thief ran into the woods to live out the rest of it's life. (Due to my friends lack of yard space for PETA picketers this portion of the story has been edited. Actual events my have differed.)

We went back to his house and I looked across the neighborhood. There were a lot more squirrels out there waiting to steal my friends nuts. I do know one thing. It won't happen on my watch.